What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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Q:What happened to the fat man that rode a roller coaster? A:He had fun

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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My Nan, that is all.

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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