There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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womens rights

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They discuss the fundamentals and aspects of Religion.

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Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

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Why are roses red ? Ass in my face .

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

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bangers and mash?

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What has three legs, 6 notches, 8 wheels, is beige, has cancer, and is severely burnt? I don't know.

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What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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