What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

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What happens when a super saiyan eats a fully grown pineapple? hehe xd

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

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the only people that will miss whitney huston are her drug dealer and possibly bobby brown

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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A horse walks into a bar. He called him Arthur. Those are two sentences.

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whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

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New mission: refuse this mission

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What happend to the girl in the corner? Idk that's why I asked!! :P

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Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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