Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

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1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops