- Anti Joke

Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

TELL

A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

why did the boy die? because he got shot

What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

A man walks into bar carrying a nondescript glass bottle of beer. The bartender speaks up in a harsh tone "We don't allow outside drink here buddy! If you're drinking here, you're buying it from here! The man replies, "Oh I'm sorry, it's just that this isn't a normal beer. Every time you take a swig from it, you are granted one wish!" The bartender, who is at this point getting visibly irritated, "I ain't got no time for fairy tales. Screw off!" The man seemingly unfazed by this anger tells him, "I'm not any kind of liar. I have three sips left. You can have them if you want." The bartender snatches the bottle with his unwashed hands from the man. "Fine" he says gruffly "I'll drink your magic beer." He thinks for a brief minute and says to himself, "I wish I had an expensive sports car." and takes a drink from the bottle. No later then a second later, a Ferrari pulls up into the driveway. It is a sleek and dark red color. It was of the latest model and did not have a single scratch whatsoever. The bartender's eyes pop wide open in astonishment and he quickly makes his second wish, "I wish I had a beautiful girlfriend!". And he took another drink. No later than five seconds, A leggy 5'7 blonde bombshell steps out of the entrance. She dons a short white skirt, Long red stiletto heels and a jet black spaghetti strap top. The bartender starts to sweat and looks a little nervous. "And my final wi-EUGHAAAHGGHHH!" The bartender collapses from the floor drooling from the mouth. It turns out that the liquor he was drinking was 180-proof alcohol that his old liver could not take. The blonde woman steps back and lets out a disgusting shriek. "Ewww, this old ugly hobo just ODed on the floor. Can we go somewhere else for drinks Jeremy?" Her boyfriend replies, "Yeah good idea babe. This place looks a trash heap anyway. You deserve better." The couple do not hesitate in stepping into their sleek red Ferrari and driving off. The man who had given the bartender the beer proceeded to check the dead man's pockets and rob it of all of it's contents. Nobody ever caught the man, and not a single person in the bar cared enough about the bartender to call 911. Moral of the story: Magic does not exist and life sucks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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