what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

What happens when you go from a jew to a penguin? A huge climate change.

What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

What's the difference between a gay and a homo?...........WTF I DON'T KNOW!?!?!?!?

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

What did the man say to the other man? I would have no clue because I am deaf

Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

What did the chicken say to the.... nevermind

Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

A blonde keeps walking down her driveway to her mailbox.Finally, her neighbor asks, "Why?" The blonde replies, "The computer says I've got mail."

What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Easter? A: Diabetes

Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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