What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -11

3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Give me time to think of a joke hm..............hm.................hm....................hm....................mmm....................hm?..........................m m.....................mmmmm..............hm...................hm.....................hm......................... ah!i don't want to think of a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the boy get hit by a bus? because he was black

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt. Why do we have to live in a world where people have to be so concered about why a stupid chicken decides to cross a road. Shouldnt we all be more focused on ways to get a better economy, or maybe end world hunger?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

One of my nipples is a different colour from the other two. Is this normal? The Doctor replied with the answer no and said you have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violets are blue Start running Cuz ima F*** you Runn Forest Runn! Jubie

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Mum says therirs ups in life... I have the Downs

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A hooker walks into a hospital. Only to find out that she has aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Nico Bellec not shoot that one guy? Just joking, this is Grand Theft Auto 4 dummy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops