Hey ask me if i'm a train? Are you a train? No...

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Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

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You played so good! No, I played well. Okay??

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

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A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

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Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

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How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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What did the cashier say to the blonde? That will be $5.39, would you like a receipt?

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Sex! Sex Who? Sex with me. BOOM!

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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mexicans fishing

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Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Your son Your son who? Your son who’s sick of having a paranoid mother who won’t just open the door!

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops