There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

What's worse than a bad joke? A joke that end's mid sente--

what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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