So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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Person 1: I got a really good knock, knock joke. Person 2: Okay. Person 1: You start. Person 2: Knock, knock. Person 1: Who's there? Person 2: ...

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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Ha! You're so gay that I respect the sexuality you were born with and I feel completely comfortable with, and happy for, you and your preferences.

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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Whats the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? The Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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A midget walked under a bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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What did the man say when he had sex for the first time "So how come I'm the one with the vagina"?

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence and doesnt fi...

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How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

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So I'm balls deep in this 9 year old...

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How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

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why couldnt the man run because he had no legs

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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knock knock! who's there? a fat salesperson here to deliver your supplements

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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