What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Justin Bieber

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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What begins with "B" and ends with "N" that you never want to call your neighbor? a Black Person

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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