Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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Q: what is the best way to pick up jewish chicks. A: with a pickup line and possibly a gift such as chocolates or flowers

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To visit the graves of his wife and only daughter who were killed in a car accident at the fault of a drunk driver many years prior.

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What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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There were 50 koreans; half of them liked gangnam style but the other half didn't. Why didn't the other half like gangnam style? They were north koreans.

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops