What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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knock knock who's there boo boo who why are you crying it's just a joke

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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