What falls down but never gets hurt? A professional stuntman wearing protective gear.

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

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Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

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Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

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Where did Jonathon go after he died? - Burger King, he died from diabetes

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

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What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

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Where does Charlie Sheen Shop? Winners

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A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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what do you call a black drug dealer? A pharmacist.

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

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Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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Man: Did It Hurt Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When your legs were crushed after being run over by that semi

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops