Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

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Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

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Your momma's so ugly, she has endure self-esteem issues relating to her appearance that have plagued her since grade school.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? They are different species... do i really need to explain the difference??

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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What do call a someone with no arms, legs, and has an eye patch? Names

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

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What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

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A man visits an anti joke site looking for some humor. realizing that its not funny, he closes the window.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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