How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

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A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

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What is pink and gets wet a tounge

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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