Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

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why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

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Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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I slept through the Dark Knight movie....turns out I was pretty tired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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