Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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What do you call a human with no eye? A Human.

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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A black man sees a watch that he want. He then purchases it with his hard earned money.

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Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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Knock, knock. After a couple minutes of waiting the man knows that no one is home and leaves.

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What's more funny than an anti-joke? A joke.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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You should get a new joke book............ because the newest edition has just be released

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What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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