If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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Communism hehe xd

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what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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