An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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What do you call the Doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class? Doctor.

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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