Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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You know what's funny? Rape

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Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Does Anti-Joke have a purpose?

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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