Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

ugvvvvvv

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -2

1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -4

dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops