Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

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What did the black man say when he noticed his crack was missing? I guess they fixed the sidewalk while I was at work.

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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Why did the boy find love? because if the girl did not love her he would kill her

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epic win?

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Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

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why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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What did the cripple wish for when he saw the shooting star? A toothbrush.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

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WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

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I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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