Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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How many fingers am i holding up? 4

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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school homewrok

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops