Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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Rylan Clark

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

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John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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A cat playing laser tag.

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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