What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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hahahahaha thats not funny

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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what do you get when you use heroin aids.

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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Why is the Mexican a gardener? He has a mental disability that makes him unable to do more than a simple task.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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