Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

I know 7 facts about you: 1. You're reading this. 2. You hate this overused shit. 3. You may think I will skip a number. 5. And you hate me much more. 6. You have seen porn. 7. You want me to kill myself. I am just gonna go suicide.

Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

Q: whats worse than finding out you failed an exam? A: finding out you where Hitler in a past life

What do you call Rosa Parks? One bitchy negro. Just kidding she was a visionary for human rights, now you can't dislike this cause you'll be saying that Rosa Parks wasn't a visionary, take that blacks.

A Polack walks into a bar. Which makes sense because the bar was in Warsaw.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

regoereiorgiorehgijreirehrfjirgjirejgruirehgrghehiiehaoiwpo;lkswpokewqoifgoieqjgiubtfoewfiir K.O

I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...