If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A apple a day keeps gramar away.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Donald Trump

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops