Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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A man walks to a bar and sees a very hot blonde sitting across the room. Turns out it was actually a blonde man and they both had a wonderful night because they were both homosexual.

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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