I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

an islamic man with a strange bag walk into thr airport. he is probably heading toward his flight like any other person.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +2

if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

thumb_up thumb_down +2

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

there was a turkey sandwhich..... a ham sandwhich.... and a bologna sandwhich..... they had a short conversation before they were eatin by a fat kid

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops