Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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Q: What's worse than being stung by a bee A: The Rwandan Genocide

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What's Pi times the square root of a panda's earlobe? Panda's do not have earlobes... thus the answer is inexplicable.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by 7, who is a rapist

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whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops