What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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why was 7 afraid of 6?that is impossible it is older than six and stronger than its mother

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

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What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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