A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

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red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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