What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops