roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

Why did I post a joke on this website? Because I felt like it.

Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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