What is a black person's favorite color? There are many different colors and it would be unrealistic to believe that all the people of a single race would choose the same one as their favorite.

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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where do you hide a black mans paycheck? somewhere he would never find it

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What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

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How does Michael J. Fox mix his paint? He uses the paint mixing stick that is provided, for free, by most reputable hardware stores.

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What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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Man: Did It Hurt Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When your legs were crushed after being run over by that semi

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

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Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

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What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

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What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to go well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that when his wife was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas, despite that the tank was full and she only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrendous car accident that caused the fuel to empty and catch fire. Mary survived but their 6 month old baby was killed.

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I found my car in the lot with a broken tail-light and a note under the windscreen wipers. I accidentally reversed into your car, Lots of people saw me do it. They all think I'm writing down my name and details, Well, I'm not.

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Two black guys and two asians get pulled over. The cop says i cant let you go unless all of your dicks add up to 15 inches. They added up to exactly 15 inches - The black guys both added up to 7 inches each and the asians added up to 1/2 inch each. When they were driving away both of the asians said thank god we had boners.

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "Damn, it's getting hot in here." The other muffing replies "Holy Shit! A Talking Muffin!"

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2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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