What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

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Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

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Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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What's worse than a trash can of dead babies? The one at the bottom that has to eat it's way out.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops