A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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Albert <3 Hunter

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops