Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. The mailman who? Anthrax.

Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

What do you call an asian pilot? A pilot you racist bastard

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

What's the difference between a black man and a orange? One is a fruit and other isn't

How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

"Where's your mom?' "She died last night. . ."

Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

what is worse than joel an infested asshole

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

What animal wouldn't you want to play games with? Probably none of them. They are animals and incapable of playing board games.

What is little,red and its in the corner??? -strawberry in the corner

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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