A bar walks into a man

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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