Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

what did the alcholic get his children for christman, nothing i lied about the children. Another joke by rangler thumbs up for more.

What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

what did the penis say to the vagina? SMACK SMACK SMACK

roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!!BAZZINGA!!!

Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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