Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

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On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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whats worst than a trashcan full of dead babies? A baby eating the dead babies.

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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Felix? The Lucky cat? That is the only thing that comes to mind, I am dead tired, but I really don't mind staying up until I cant anymore physically, as for mentally I am getting pretty bad as for company.

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

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hi jonny

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What's worse then getting a broken bone? A large marsupial charging at you with vicious speed

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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