A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

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A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

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Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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