What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

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DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

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what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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