What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Indians

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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Whats the difference between anne frank and osama bin laden? Nothing. They were both found eventually.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

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My mom

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A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops