What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

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A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

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What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

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I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? It doesn't really matter but I wouldn't actually call anything because they have very sensitive hearing and will probably panic and, being blind, might collide with a tree.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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What's the difference between a cheeseburger and a dead baby............I don't j!zz on the cheeseburger before I eat it.

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Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

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What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

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A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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