Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are flowers, And daisies are too.

What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

If the black man lives in the black house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The white man. As unfortunate as it is, racism is still a very integral part of society, and the social dominance the white man holds in countries like America are not to be so quickly forgotten.

How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

Q.If your have $6.00 and I have a hair cut, how many donkeys are in the paddock? A. Aliens with a hat????????????

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

What did the the man, the dog, and the psychiatrist talk about? The man's childhood experience losing his pet as a contributer to his symptoms of psychosis.

Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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