- Anti Joke

John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

Dylan Hodge's mother touches her own butthole at night. Joshua Brown's sister rubs Josh's earlobes passionately. Brock is a fag. Jacob is Awesome. Daniel THINKS he's awesome. Jamie kills everyone. Apart from Jacob.

What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

What happened to Grant when he did a cart wheel? Chuck had sex with Victoria

How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops