A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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knock knock Person A: who's there Person A: oh shit that was me

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops