Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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