How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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Why did the Hispanic man have drugs in his pocket? He had just gone to the pharmacy.

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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who looks like a double rainbow? gun baby who was pregant and rapes her

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What's worser than dieing? Living-being tortured while at it too

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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Whats the difference between harry potter and the Jews? Harry potter could escape the chambers.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

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Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

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Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

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What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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