- Anti Joke

Q:what did the Aardvark say to the other Aardvark. A: nothing because Aardvark do not have the mental capacity to carry out basic conversations

Teddy- Last Thursday, A nice man named teddy was laid off at his local police department. Teddy was depressed, and mad at himself for his own failure. Teddy went to the library and found a book on Suicide. The librarian asked if he had his library card. He said yes, and presented it. The librarian scanned the card and checked out his book. Teddy went to his home and read a few chapters in his book, he found it useful. He then traveled to a firearms store and purchased a handgun. The clerk said that there was a sale on 40 count packages of the bullets he was buying. He said no thank you; I will only need one bullet. Teddy paid and went on his way home to find some peace. He did not find it………………… Because there was an annoying mocking bird outside his window. Teddy knew of this, and used his new weapon to shoot the bird. He only needed the one bullet because he was an ex-police officer, and had good aim. Teddy then used his new found knowledge on the topic of suicide, and wrote a remarkably well written article for a magazine he had interviewed for. Teddy knew that the prompt (suicide in the United States today) was very challenging, and he was compelled to hear how well he had done. The article landed him a new job as a writer for the magazine. On Friday, Teddy started his new job, and was delighted to learn that his new office was complete with a window that over looked the whole town. What a view, he remarked. He then threw himself out the eight story window, and landed on a homeless blind man. The homeless blind man had a coat full of newspapers to keep him warm in the winter time. And the padding suppressed the lethality of Teddy’s fall. He remarked how ironic it was that the homeless person‘s warm coat would never keep him warm again. Teddy laughed, and continued on with his fulfilling day until the police arrested him at 5:13 in the afternoon. He was a dashingly handsome toaster that supplied the town with lots of warm bread. So the police released him. And teddy and the Hooker lived happily ever after. Saturday, Teddy’s relationship with the hooker began falling apart. He was drinking now, and every now and then he came home a little too drunk. He beat and raped her………….. And nine months later they had a beautiful baby boy named Sam. They nurtured Sam till the ripe old age of 16. (Unfortunately, nurture for Teddy meant more rape and beating) For Sam’s 16th birthday, he was lead to the basement for a surprise party, where he was tripped into a wood chipper and ground into a fine pulp. Teddy added a blend of chili powder and sour cream. The hooker suggested that he should add some pickled jalapeño juice, but Teddy argued that it would be too spicy and ruin the chili. But the banana commented that he could add extra sour cream if the spice was to over whelming. Teddy trusted bananas, and added the pickled jalapeño juice. He then entered the chili in the local chili bowl competition and won second place. He was once again disappointed in his work, and went on a rampage killing all the bananas that ever betrayed him. Despite his good looks and practical use, Teddy had to face the continuances of his actions. He was discharged from his position at the local police department. Sunday, Damn, thought Teddy, the library’s closed on Sunday. The End

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

How did the Mexican get into the United States? He applied for a Visa and was granted authorization to live and work in the United States on a permanent basis.

Q:what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? A:get in the batmobile

How do you get a cat off a swing? You throw a dog at it.

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

I scream, you scream, we all scream because we're getting murdered.

What did the asshole say to his friend behind him? Fart

What will your friend do after you kill him? Nothing, he is dead.

Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

What's brown and sticky? A stick. But if you answered poop you aren't wrong.

"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

What's bloody and has wheels? The Holocaust I lied about the wheels.

Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? The are both of the kingdom Animalia, possessing many organ systems and cellular similarities. And they both live underground. Except for the Eagle.

what did the kid say when he didnt see the ice and sliped and broke his arm ouch that beep hurt

Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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