I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

A jewish boy walks past a quarter on the ground..

once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

69 :) 3====D:). [{}]:)

why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a jew!

In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

What do you have, if you have fists the can kill someone in one punch? Hulk's DNA

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

whats the difference between me and callum ? one soul.

Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

What did Tiger Woods do when he saw a woman taking her shirt off? He looked the other way so he could make his birdie putt

So a guy comes into a bar... And he is cited for public indecency.

*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

A black man walks into a bar. He is then beaten upon and hung, as this is the 50s.

What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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