Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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friend 1: Alright man, i got your back friend 2: AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

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what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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Why cant Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukaemia.

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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What does a female Nazi call a tampon? A twatskika.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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