dyslexics of the world untie!

Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

A white man is found dead in an alley way, who was the murderer? The black guy trying to climb up the walls to escape.

Your mom says hi!.........Jinks!!!! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaah.

One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

What do you call a gay man in a wheelchair? Nothing, his life is already hard enough and bullying him will only make the problem worse.

How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

Why did the black guy sing? Cause he can sdf sdfsd f sdf ds f sd fsd f sd f ds g sdfgh fsh sdf h dfsg dfs g df gdfgdf g d yeah thats right

Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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