whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

tim tebow and mark sanchez will lead the jets to the superbowl

Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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