- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops