Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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silver bullet?

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

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roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a wanted serial killer on the run from the police

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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Badabing.

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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69

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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