Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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