What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are red vilest are blue shes mine and if you take my place my fist will go in your face

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road Because early that morning she had found out that her husband had left her for another chicken. She became depressed and soon was suicidal so she started looking for an option out of her pain. So she tried to cross the road... She never made it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If the 49ers won the superbowl

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats black and white and red all over? A chopped up dalmation...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the black man get drenched by a fire hose because he was on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To give to his wife to cut up for his family to have at a picnic

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops