How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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